d8888b. db .d8b. db db d888888b d8888b. d88888b db dD 88 `8D 88 d8' `8b `8b d8'`~~88~~' 88 `8D 88' 88 ,8P' 88oodD' 88 88ooo88 `8bd8' 88 88oobY' 88ooooo 88,8P 88~~~ 88 88~~~88 88 88 88`8b 88~~~~~ 88`8b 88 88booo. 88 88 88 88 88 `88. 88. 88 `88. 88 Y88888P YP YP YP YP 88 YD Y88888P YP YD d888b .d8b. d88888D d88888b d888888b d888888b d88888b 88' Y8b d8' `8b YP d8' 88' `~~88~~' `~~88~~' 88' 88 88ooo88 d8' 88ooooo 88 88 88ooooo 88 ooo 88~~~88 d8' 88~~~~~ 88 88 88~~~~~ 88. ~8~ 88 88 d8' db 88. 88 88 88. Y888P YP YP d88888P Y88888P YP YP Y88888P Playtrek Gazette Vol. 1 Number 1 Published sporadically, at best. Editor: John Contributors to this Issue: Roberto, John Welcome to the premier issue of the Playtrek Gazette. Our committment is to bring you the most news possible about the Playmates Toys' Star Trek line, with none of the journalistic integrity burden. Contributions are welcomed, and criticisms will be ignored. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ANGRY FAN BEGINS HUNGER STRIKE - Roberto A fan of Playmates Toys, Star Trek toy line, Wallace Grumby, started a hunger strike today to protest Playmates' policy of the one-per-case 9-inch "Trials & Tribble-ations" Dax doll. "I've had it!" exclaimed Grumby as he set up a sleeping cot and two cases of Evian water on the front steps of Playmates' La Mirada, California offices. "I'm staying right here and going on a hunger strike until Playmates stops this lunacy." When asked why he didn't just stop buying the toys instead of starving himself, Grumby responded, "Are you kidding? I can't give up the toys. Despite my anger at the company, I can't just stop buying their product. I've decided to give up food instead. Besides, after what I paid for the 'T&T' O'Brien, I can't afford food. It's all their fault and I'm going to make them see reason." When asked for a reaction to the strike, an unnamed Playmates Toys official said, "Playmates is committed to the highest quality Star Trek collectibles and will continue with our highly successful, fully articulated--" At this point, he declined further comment when a tomato hit him upside the head, thrown from an undetermined source. A Playmates Toys' employee, who asked not to be identified, said, "Those Trekkies. They're just weird, you know. Why don't they just get into sports or something. I don't understand this devotion to toys. A PIECE OF YOUR FAVORITE STAR - Roberto When 14-year old Tim Somner discovered his recently acquired Keiko O'Brien action figure had what looked like a long, black hair trapped inside the bubble during the manufacturing process, he was about to take it back to the store. Good thing he didn't. Playmates Toys is starting a bold, new effort to promote their Star Trek line of action figures by randomly placing a strand of hair of the corresponding star, inside the action figure packaging. "We were originally going to put out only 1701 copies of the figures with the stars' hairs in them," said the Star Trek production manager, who asked not to be identified, "but some of the stars balked at having that many strands of hair plucked from their scalps. We took what we could get and have put out considerably less than that. As a result, these things are going to be highly prized collectibles. More so than the popular Picard from Tapestry action figures, I think." When asked what he thought of his acquisition, young Somner said, "I'm so excited! I've actually got a piece of Rosalind Chao's hair! It's so cool! The guy down at the comic shop offered me $50 for it. I thought it was a lot of money, but Mom told me to hold on to it. It could be worth over a $1000 someday." Playmates is in negotiations with Patrick Stewart for hairs from his head, to be inserted in a special Picard from "Captain's Holiday" figure, but Stewart is reticent to give up any of his remaining hairs. "He might let us have some chest hairs instead," the Playmates Toys official stated. FCC LAUNCHES INVESTIGATION AGAINST PLAYMATES TOYS - Roberto The FCC has launched an investigation into allegations that Playmates Toys, manufacturers and distributors of the popular line of Nano Pet, Zorro, Star Trek, and Baby-Go-Burp toys, has deliberately and maliciously been attempting to manipulate the minds of America's children through subliminal messages in their toys. The FCC refused to release detailed information. However, inside sources have named several suspect products within the Star Trek line. One such item is the mislabeled "Speneer Gifts" exclusive action figure, which has been reported to cause people to impulsively buy plastic vomit, lava lamps, and novelty underwear. Another is the mislabeled "ouncelor Troi". In ancient Norse folklore, the "Ouncelor" was a "Merchant to the Gods" and if one were to purchase her wares, they would be "touched by the gods" and good fortune would soon follow. It is believed that Playmates was attempting to subliminally coerce customers to purchase their products in hopes of unconsciously gaining good luck. And, finally, the infamous Data from "Redemption". As any Star Trek fan knows, the Data character did not wear a red uniform in the "Redemption" episode. It is believed that by intentionally mislabelling the product, Playmates was attempting to ask the fans for forgiveness, or redemption if you will, for the release of yet another boring headswap figure. And these are just a sampling of the items reported. Right now, the FCC and Playmates Toys representatives are meeting behind closed doors and it is believed that Playmates is attempting to strike a deal. So far, they have cooperated fully and turned over all records. However, there are reports that Playmates is hiding a secret inter-office memo that may explain why the picture on the back of the 3-pack 1701 figure set has the Tasha Yar character secretly pointing her phaser weapon at herself. That could be a touchy subject and it's unclear right now as to what exactly Playmates is hiding, but it could hinder the investigation and create a lot of trouble for Playmates Toys in the days to come. CASE OF THE MISSING T&T O'BRIEN CAPER SOLVED - Roberto After exhaustive research, one of the most highly prized Playmates Toys action figures has been located. The T&T O'Brien action figures were slated for a release of 10000 units, but a mysterious mix-up at Playmates' China toy plants caused nearly half of them to disappear. "We're not sure what happened," claimed Playmates at the time. "There was supposed to be 10000 of those items-- some went to Europe, some as customer samples, and some as part of the Triple Tribbles contest. But several thousand of the figures have... vanished." Finally, the missing figures have turned up in a secluded barn in South Dakota. The owner of the land with the barn can be traced back to a Doctor V. Frankenstein, world famous scientist and experimenter with the connection between life and electricity. Dr. Frankenstein refused to comment how he came to be in possession of several thousand O'Brien action figures. However, a disgruntled former employee, Mr. Igor, commented that Dr. Frankenstein had been shopping around for "brains" for his newest experiment. He thought he had found a good deal for brains through his Chinese connection and purchased several thousand for his experiments. He was unaware that he was purchasing "O'Briens" instead of "brains". Apparently when the order arrived, Frankenstein didn't know what to do with them, so he stored them On his North Dakota ranch. Inquiries were made into the purchase of Frankenstein's O'Briens, but he stated that he's only interested in swapping them for brains. STARFLEET INTELLIGENCE - John For the last several months the staff of the Playtrek Gazette have been carefully cultivating a network of well-placed spies and informants ready to provide our readers with all the latest, behind the scenes, information on upcoming releases of Star Trek items from Playmates Toys. For legal reasons, and to protect our sources, these must be labeled as "Rumors" for now, but mark our words, just keep watching those store aisles. Rumor: Bele, recently removed from the upcoming WF5 series of 4.5" figures, has resurfaced as the lead singer for the rock band Van Halen. The band is said to be pleased with their latest lead man. "Our last lead singer, former President Gerald Ford, just wasn't cuttin' it, man. Musically he was with us, but all that falling down on his part was just too distracting", said a source within the band. "Bele, with that little plastic stand of his, plus his cool make-up, is the perfect guy for the job. Hopefully he'll last longer than the previous 32 lead singers we've had in the last couple of years." Rumor: The popular electronic NANO Pet line is about to get a boost with the release of "NANO Kirk". The good Captain has been memorialized in electronic form for all to hang on their beltloops. "Our regular NANOs needed to sleep, eat, and be cared for just like real pets," said our source. "NANO Kirk needs the same attention to survive. At periodic intervals, the caregiver must ensure that Kirk is given the opportunity to either break the Prime Directive, get in a fistfight with someone, or put the moves on the nearest female (either alien or human). If denied these things he just sulks to the point of being so annoying that you can't help but turn the damn thing off." Other Star Trek NANO characters are said to be in development. We hope to have more on those in our next report. Rumor: In an effort to introduce Star Trek to a wider audience, and to introduce current Trek collectors to Playmates' other toy lines, a series of cross-over figures are currently in the planning stages. Figures said to be under consideration include Earthworm Jim T. Kirk, Savage She Dragon Crusher (both with mowhawk and regular hair!), Pretty Crazy Curls Worf, The Fairies of Cottingly Glen Borg, Mr. Men Riker and Troi, and Sewer Swimmin' Teenage Mutant Wesley, among others. Rumor: In an effort to satisfy the demand for previously released figures by collectors, Playmates is going to continue to re-release selected figures, much as they did with the 1701 3-pack. The marketing strategy behind these re-releases is complex, and not easily understood by the layman. "The 1701 3-pack showed us that re-releasing figures is a viable marketing option. Many collectors have requested that Thomas Riker, Esoqq, and Redemption Data, among others, be re-released. An analysis by our marketing team, however, indicates that these figures were produced in relatively low numbers to begin with, and therefore couldn't possibly have been big sellers even at the height of the Trek market. Also, many of the figures we have made that have been requested by collectors, such as Kurn, and Keiko have ended up on clearance pegs. Our marketing team believes that a better indicator of consumer demand for previously released figures is to look at production numbers for these previous figures and re-release those figures that had very high production, and were thus, logically, the most popular with consumers." The first wave of re-released figures is rumored to include: Admiral McCoy, Captain Scott, Tarchannen III Alien LaForge, Data as Romulan, Picard as Romulan, and Riker as Malcorian. "These are gonna be hot, hot, hot!" said our source close to the marketing team. CLASSIFIEDS For Sale: Rare loose T&T O'Brien, $74, 1-900-SCALPER For Trade: Will trade my "T&T O'Brien" for a living brain. Must be in working condition. No morons please. High IQs preferred. Contact V. Frankenstein 1-55-ITSALIVE For Sale: Super rare Dathon w/ Pog variation! Variation is that it's on an American cardback and has a trading card instead of pog. This is a one of a kind item so don't let it pass you by!! $2000 1-900-SCALPER For Sale: Another very rare item: loose Tri-Fold Borg. Only about 100 or less made as an advertising giveaway. This figure comes with all accessories, but no backer card. A steal at $800 or best offer. 1-900-SCALPER. For Sale: Rare Admiral McCoy on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" card available! These babies are over five years old and long out of production! Get 'em while they're hot! Multiples available! Going at the low, low price of $95 each! 1-IAM-ANEWBIE For Sale: Rare loose Scotty in DS9 uniform, $155, 1-900-SCALPER For Sale: 1 Picard head, left foot from Mugato, right arm from Gorn, ripped shirt Riker torso, left hand from Data. Willing to trade for Romulan head, left forearm from Troi and FC Worf's pigtail. Respond to Customizer Box. For Sale: Ultra rare collection of loose1701-series figures. Each figure is numbered 1701! Hurry, these won't last long. Also have for sale jar of white paint and Letraset micro-pen set (only used 3 times!). 1-900-SCALPER Wanted: Writers for the Playtrek Gazette. Minimal time committment and zero compensation. Ability to write coherent, grammatically correct sentences appreciated, but not a requirement. Gud spelling a plus! Possession of a keenly honed sense of humor a definite must. Apply to the editor. PERSONALS SWF seeks SM for fun with Star Trek toys. Must know Star Trek trivia. A big plus to customizers-- let me see your tools! If you don't have the engineering playset-- no need to apply. Contact me, mailbox 8472 A secret message for Alyssa at NewForce Comic & Collectibles: hiS mEND pALe LaTe bOY SiT fORce OrB rEpoRT hOpe LOST AND FOUND Found: a loose phaser for 4.5" action figure. To reclaim, you must be able to identify. Call Cindy at 555-5546 NEXT ISSUE: Stay tuned for more rumors, more in-depth articles, and possibly a contest with fabulous prizes. That is all.